00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:12.720
Basically, we're going to think about

00:04:12.920 --> 00:04:15.920
the meaning of the concept "mother".

00:04:16.640 --> 00:04:17.880
And on the other hand,

00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:21.600
the meaning of "non-mother":

00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:24.520
a woman who does not wish
to have children.

00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:28.240
Being a mother is your destiny,
or a tradition.

00:04:28.520 --> 00:04:32.840
That destiny might be positive
or something natural,

00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:35.280
something given by God.

00:04:35.440 --> 00:04:39.080
Another person, however,
might also regard it as destiny

00:04:39.240 --> 00:04:41.160
because she's a woman

00:04:41.320 --> 00:04:42.520
and see it as a punishment.

00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.440
A woman is biologically
programmed to have kids.

00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:48.040
If you don't,

00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:51.680
you're selfish for not giving
the world what you should.

00:04:51.840 --> 00:04:53.200
You deny it something.

00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:55.040
BRAVE
SELFISH

00:04:55.440 --> 00:04:58.400
How many of you here in class

00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:00.040
agree with this concept

00:05:00.200 --> 00:05:02.160
of selfish for a non-mother?

00:05:02.400 --> 00:05:04.600
Put up your hands, don't be afraid.

00:05:05.080 --> 00:05:06.040
Okay.

00:05:06.200 --> 00:05:08.800
Being a mother means losing
my identity.

00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:11.520
When I'm a mother,
I stop being Marina

00:05:11.760 --> 00:05:15.200
and I become the mother of... Marta.

00:05:16.360 --> 00:05:18.080
Actually, humans exist

00:05:18.280 --> 00:05:20.360
to be born, grow, reproduce, and die.

00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:23.640
We want to perpetuate our species
or at least

00:05:23.880 --> 00:05:27.040
perpetuate our genes,
because when we die

00:05:27.240 --> 00:05:29.560
all that will be left here
are our children

00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:31.720
and the genes we left behind.

00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:36.320
There are women who do not have
that "biological clock".

00:05:36.520 --> 00:05:39.480
I won't have a child
because I have doubts.

00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:44.480
No, I don't feel, physiologically,
that I need to have a child.

00:05:44.640 --> 00:05:49.120
If they don't feel it,
could it be that it doesn't exist?

00:05:52.880 --> 00:05:55.640
There is not a single word
that is "natural".

00:05:55.840 --> 00:05:59.360
We create that meaning
via a convention, a code,

00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:02.280
we have established
as individuals who share

00:06:02.440 --> 00:06:04.880
a culture, a society.
We have decided

00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:08.840
that the word "woman" means "mother".

00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:11.920
And the woman
who does not wish to be a mother,

00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:13.880
has to give a lot of explanations.

00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:17.280
She also has to feel,
sooner or later,

00:06:17.600 --> 00:06:20.800
she's not accepted by the norm,
or has no place in society.

00:06:58.520 --> 00:07:01.600
We don't quite know
why we want to have a child.

00:07:01.760 --> 00:07:07.800
Maybe because
if you don't have children

00:07:07.960 --> 00:07:09.720
you're not a real woman?

00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:15.480
Would it be because we have to
respond to considerable pressure?

00:07:15.640 --> 00:07:20.560
From parents, the environment,
from friends...

00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:26.600
"Oh! You're 35 and you still don't
have kids? Hurry up, hurry up."

00:07:26.760 --> 00:07:34.960
Lord, give me

00:07:35.240 --> 00:07:43.840
some remedy

00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:52.280
for my pain,

00:07:52.440 --> 00:07:59.760
for my sighs.

00:10:09.760 --> 00:10:14.400
Femininity may include motherhood,
but it doesn't complete it.

00:10:14.560 --> 00:10:18.560
It's as if we were to draw a circle
with motherhood inside it,

00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:22.480
but it takes up a small space,
femininity is much larger.

00:11:06.200 --> 00:11:09.160
Why would I have to be
an Olympic champion

00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:10.840
if I didn't want to be one?

00:11:11.160 --> 00:11:14.080
I might have the ability, the talent,

00:11:14.280 --> 00:11:19.080
and if I trained enough from childhood
I could be a marathon runner,

00:11:19.240 --> 00:11:21.800
or an Olympic champion gymnast.

00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:23.360
But maybe I didn't want that.

00:11:23.520 --> 00:11:25.720
The same applies to motherhood.

00:11:25.920 --> 00:11:29.200
I might have a biological capacity

00:11:30.040 --> 00:11:34.200
to give birth, rear children.
I might even be a great mother.

00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:39.560
But if I don't want to do that
in my life, why would I have to?

00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:39.880
I've been a midwife since 1985.

00:14:40.040 --> 00:14:42.280
Almost 33 years now, right?

00:14:43.040 --> 00:14:46.760
My mother got pregnant
when she was 40.

00:14:46.920 --> 00:14:49.840
I was about 15 at the time.

00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:54.440
I said to her, "When you give birth,
I want to be there."

00:14:54.600 --> 00:14:56.600
Anyway, the day came,

00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:59.200
when my brother was born
the midwife said to me:

00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:00.360
"Take care of him,

00:15:00.520 --> 00:15:02.640
give him oxygen,
put him under the lamp."

00:15:02.800 --> 00:15:05.360
It was an experience,
but not just

00:15:05.520 --> 00:15:07.640
of looking on, but taking part.

00:15:07.800 --> 00:15:11.080
And I said, "I definitely have to be
a midwife."

00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:15.320
I feel very fulfilled
in my profession.

00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:18.760
It still continues to move me,
make me nervous

00:15:18.920 --> 00:15:20.680
in certain situations.

00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:23.840
Being with someone in such
a vital process

00:15:25.040 --> 00:15:28.720
is reason enough to feel satisfied

00:15:28.880 --> 00:15:30.080
and be happy.

00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.920
You're doing really well,
great, great...

00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:37.600
There you go, that's it, perfect...

00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:41.120
You're doing a great job, Carmina.

00:15:41.280 --> 00:15:43.680
If the question is,
"Why does a woman,

00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:45.520
or a couple, want to have a child?"

00:15:45.680 --> 00:15:47.760
I'd like to know the answer.

00:15:47.920 --> 00:15:49.440
But experience tells me

00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:54.080
that it is often to keep
the bloodline alive,

00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:56.480
or to keep the surname alive.

00:16:00.280 --> 00:16:03.680
Are parents aware of what awaits them?

00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:05.080
I don't think so.

00:16:06.760 --> 00:16:08.600
I don't think they are aware.

00:16:08.760 --> 00:16:11.880
A lot of couples have expectations.

00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:14.200
And when you have expectations based

00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:18.680
on a fantasy,
you feel more frustrated later.

00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:28.960
Oh my God!

00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.920
I think that the notion
of maternal instinct

00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:47.520
is humanity's greatest deception.

00:16:52.680 --> 00:16:55.760
We have totally associated

00:16:56.440 --> 00:17:00.960
women, female humans, and animals.

00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:04.520
That is completely ridiculous.

00:17:04.680 --> 00:17:07.520
Women are an animal,
but not like other creatures.

00:17:25.280 --> 00:17:29.520
At around 20, I'd say at 25 today,
the question is

00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:33.480
not so much if you're going
to have kids, but when.

00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:38.440
That implies you made the decision
because it's your duty.

00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:42.000
The pressure that society
puts on you

00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:46.880
is what we women internalise
and experience as

00:17:47.360 --> 00:17:49.040
maternal instinct.

00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:55.120
As a biological fact, I don't think
maternal instinct exists.

00:17:55.400 --> 00:17:57.600
There are women who don't have it.

00:17:57.760 --> 00:18:02.080
Just that argument alone
should be enough

00:18:02.560 --> 00:18:06.600
to discredit the whole ideology
surrounding maternal instinct.

00:18:06.760 --> 00:18:10.400
NATIONAL NURSING SCHOOL OF VALENCIA

00:18:10.600 --> 00:18:12.840
Today is the last day of class.

00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.240
As you know, it's been a long course.

00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:18.640
First the exam,
then the course assessment survey.

00:18:21.360 --> 00:18:23.440
I didn't want children
because in this world

00:18:23.600 --> 00:18:24.840
there are all sorts.

00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:26.960
Not everyone is born

00:18:27.120 --> 00:18:29.240
to carry out the same role.

00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:31.720
So, some are here to be a mother,

00:18:31.880 --> 00:18:34.760
others are here
to research and discover

00:18:34.920 --> 00:18:36.640
a cure for cancer.

00:18:36.800 --> 00:18:42.120
When I was a teenager,
I knew deep down

00:18:42.280 --> 00:18:45.400
that I wasn't going to have kids,
that wasn't my role.

00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:52.880
Not having children
has been a handicap.

00:18:53.040 --> 00:18:54.520
I'll explain why.

00:18:54.680 --> 00:18:58.240
The mothers of pregnant women,
for example,

00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:00.600
sometimes say to me,
"Of course,

00:19:00.760 --> 00:19:04.000
you don't have kids, you don't know
what my daughter is going through."

00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:06.000
Does an oncologist
have to have cancer

00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:09.040
to be a good oncologist?
No, right?

00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:12.160
Whatever it takes for it
to be a good birth.

00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:14.920
I don't have the experience
of giving birth,

00:19:15.080 --> 00:19:17.400
but I have other resources and skills

00:19:17.560 --> 00:19:20.120
that do make me competent
to be with them,

00:19:20.280 --> 00:19:22.600
and be an excellent professional.

00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:32.800
We've been together now 22 years.

00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:34.920
Times goes by so quickly.

00:19:35.080 --> 00:19:37.200
We never planned to have children.

00:19:37.360 --> 00:19:40.520
I didn't want to, he already did,
so it was perfect.

00:19:42.120 --> 00:19:45.120
This is my life, it's a good life,
a happy one.

00:19:45.280 --> 00:19:47.480
But the recipe for my life is mine,

00:19:47.640 --> 00:19:50.400
and each person has his or her
own recipe.

00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:08.600
You only have to look
at the history of women

00:20:08.760 --> 00:20:12.920
to see to what extent
we are conditioned

00:20:13.080 --> 00:20:17.040
by a society, a culture,
an environment.

00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:21.400
In eighteenth-century France,

00:20:21.560 --> 00:20:27.360
mothers were advised
not to have their babies close by,

00:20:27.760 --> 00:20:30.320
and to send them to the wet nurse

00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:34.040
24 or 48 hours after giving birth.

00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:36.840
Women belonging to

00:20:37.080 --> 00:20:40.400
the bourgeoisie
or the upper aristocracy

00:20:40.560 --> 00:20:44.520
found the idea of breastfeeding
their babies disgusting,

00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:48.080
and that was based on the idea of:
"I am not a cow".

00:20:50.040 --> 00:20:54.640
The idea that babies were torn away
from their mothers

00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:56.240
is totally false.

00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:00.280
They were not torn away,
women were in fact conditioned

00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:03.160
by this general discourse of society.

00:21:03.320 --> 00:21:05.560
And so that was when I realised

00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:09.800
that if this instinct did exist
in humanity,

00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:12.040
it wasn't a very powerful one.

00:21:14.800 --> 00:21:17.520
I don't think
the maternal instinct exists.

00:21:17.840 --> 00:21:20.000
I think it's a question of culture.

00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:24.200
A little voice doesn't suddenly
wake you up one day

00:21:24.360 --> 00:21:26.760
and say to you,
"You have to be a mother".

00:21:29.320 --> 00:21:32.800
A mother has the instinct
to protect and care for her baby.

00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:35.560
But it's an instinct for survival,

00:21:35.720 --> 00:21:37.760
like all mammals do.

00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:40.160
There is a learning process,

00:21:40.320 --> 00:21:42.480
because otherwise,
all women would breastfeed.

00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:46.440
They wouldn't have to organise
campaigns or courses

00:21:46.600 --> 00:21:48.960
to teach breastfeeding.
It would be instinctive.

00:21:49.120 --> 00:21:51.480
Humans are the only mammals I know

00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:53.920
that need to be taught how to suckle,

00:21:54.080 --> 00:21:57.600
clothe, wash and hold their young.

00:23:06.120 --> 00:23:09.600
"Regretting Motherhood".

00:23:09.760 --> 00:23:13.520
This is the controversial title
of this book by Sarah Fischer.

00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:19.480
She regrets being a mother,
and would rather be a father.

00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:22.880
Hello, Sarah Fischer.
Thanks for joining us.

00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:01.240
The issue of motherhood

00:25:01.400 --> 00:25:04.720
has progressed in some ways,
but there have been setbacks too.

00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:16.480
It's a case of history's pendulum.

00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:20.280
There have been moments
of greater freedom for women,

00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:24.600
normally when they are needed
in a public realm.

00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:29.080
In times of war, revolution,
economic crisis.

00:25:29.280 --> 00:25:31.840
However, when these crucial moments

00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:34.400
disappear from the public realm,

00:25:34.560 --> 00:25:37.360
women are always relegated
to the home again.

00:25:37.520 --> 00:25:41.440
And this call back
always involves a child.

00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:32.440
The State is interested in everyone
being in his or her place.

00:26:32.600 --> 00:26:36.600
The best way of placing women where

00:26:36.760 --> 00:26:42.240
the State expects them to be,
is by extolling motherhood.

00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:53.520
Either return my love to me

00:26:59.600 --> 00:27:08.760
Or at least let me die.

00:28:38.760 --> 00:28:43.520
The right-wing Catholic offensive
of La Leche League

00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:48.000
is an association that developed
the idea

00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:52.080
that women who did not want
to breastfeed were monsters.

00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:56.160
And this discourse by a tiny group
of women

00:28:56.320 --> 00:29:01.960
has gradually reached
an enormous audience.

00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:09.920
This "ecological" mothering movement

00:29:10.080 --> 00:29:12.680
harking back to eternal wisdom,

00:29:13.040 --> 00:29:17.880
has extremely tough consequences
for young mothers

00:29:18.040 --> 00:29:21.200
who want to do it right.

00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:26.720
It is a very devious way
of sending a woman back to the home.

00:29:27.520 --> 00:29:32.520
Under the guise of modernity,
it sends us back to the Middle Ages.

00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:35.320
And that is intolerable,
it's intolerable.

00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:46.600
O love, give me some remedy

00:29:46.760 --> 00:29:55.200
Either return my love to me

00:29:55.840 --> 00:30:08.920
Or at least let me die.

00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:19.080
At least let me die.

00:32:10.520 --> 00:32:11.680
I have a daughter.

00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:16.160
I had her when I was 19,
I got pregnant at 18.

00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:20.520
I didn't want to have her.
I didn't plan to get pregnant

00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:22.440
or be a mother.

00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:28.040
But I was pressured into having her
by my then partner and my mother.

00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:31.920
I put their wishes before mine.

00:32:34.760 --> 00:32:36.480
My mother said:

00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:40.360
"You've had your fun, right?
Now take the consequences."

00:32:40.840 --> 00:32:42.320
It was a sort of...

00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:47.360
a way of paying for having had sex,
I don't know.

00:32:47.520 --> 00:32:48.960
Something like that.

00:32:53.280 --> 00:32:56.400
I threw myself into the role at first.

00:32:56.560 --> 00:32:58.800
I wanted to be a good mother.

00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:02.480
I was obsessed,
because I wanted to make up

00:33:02.960 --> 00:33:05.120
for having being reckless.

00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:09.440
I began dressing like an older woman.

00:33:09.840 --> 00:33:11.240
I stopped going out.

00:33:11.400 --> 00:33:14.840
I quit doing all the things I like.
I stopped gaming.

00:33:15.040 --> 00:33:19.440
I tried to disguise myself
as an adult woman so I'd be respected.

00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:22.560
I'd like to have changed it,

00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:25.280
I'd like not to have been a mother.

00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:33.480
It's hard to understand
how you can regret something

00:33:33.760 --> 00:33:35.760
you had no say in.

00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:43.160
You have a partner.

00:33:43.320 --> 00:33:46.760
He doesn't treat you right
or you're unhappy, you leave him.

00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:50.720
You have a career that you don't like,
you just quit it.

00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:53.360
But when you're a mother,
there's no turning back.

00:33:53.520 --> 00:33:54.920
It's like a scar.

00:33:55.280 --> 00:33:57.960
It's there with you for life.

00:33:58.320 --> 00:34:02.520
So, I've suffered from a lot
of pressure and anxiety,

00:34:02.800 --> 00:34:04.680
there's nothing you can do.

00:34:05.320 --> 00:34:07.680
There's always a catch.

00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:11.760
There's never a situation
that makes everyone happy.

00:34:14.240 --> 00:34:15.960
For the first few years

00:34:16.200 --> 00:34:17.840
I was definitely a mother,

00:34:18.040 --> 00:34:21.680
but as my studies started to take up
more of my time,

00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:24.480
the only thing that would save me,

00:34:24.640 --> 00:34:28.000
my motherhood role dwindled
out of necessity.

00:34:28.160 --> 00:34:30.680
It was impossible to do both things.

00:34:30.880 --> 00:34:33.320
I started getting back my identity.

00:34:33.520 --> 00:34:37.800
I started talking about things online,

00:34:38.120 --> 00:34:40.040
expressing the way I felt.

00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:43.120
The result was a gut reaction
by some people.

00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:45.160
They were rude.

00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:47.240
They judged me.

00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:49.680
There are no safe spaces

00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:54.560
to question motherhood without people
lynching you.

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:58.320
They assumed it meant
I didn't love my daughter,

00:34:58.520 --> 00:35:00.840
or I was going to do her harm.

00:35:02.400 --> 00:35:05.440
I don't think that they understand it

00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:07.560
because they're not you,

00:35:08.760 --> 00:35:12.600
they haven't experienced it.
They don't know what it is...

00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:16.120
to love a person

00:35:16.280 --> 00:35:20.200
but not the circumstances
that bind you together.

00:35:31.600 --> 00:35:33.600
We've made motherhood seem

00:35:33.800 --> 00:35:37.120
like this incredibly romantic,
perfect experience

00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:40.320
that gives us constant happiness
and satisfaction.

00:35:40.560 --> 00:35:42.960
But reality is not like that.

00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:47.440
Sometimes women want to throw
everything overboard.

00:35:47.720 --> 00:35:50.120
Some even question if

00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:52.840
it was the best decision.

00:35:53.240 --> 00:35:55.040
We're not told about that.

00:35:55.720 --> 00:35:56.720
It's taboo.

00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:42.320
They don't feel free
to be able to say it.

00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:46.040
And they don't feel free because

00:36:46.720 --> 00:36:50.560
a woman and a mother
are not allowed to feel that.

00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:52.960
She would be judged as a bad mother.

00:36:53.400 --> 00:36:57.560
I would like us to stop deifying

00:36:57.800 --> 00:36:59.520
the mother, the good mother,

00:36:59.680 --> 00:37:02.280
the sacred mother, the holy mother...

00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:04.960
It's more complicated than all that.

00:37:05.360 --> 00:37:09.000
And few of us can say
that we have succeeded.

00:37:13.880 --> 00:37:15.760
Men, for example,

00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:17.960
can refuse to pay maintenance.

00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:22.520
You can work abroad, travel,
not accept your paternity.

00:37:22.720 --> 00:37:25.280
And it's absolutely all right.

00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:27.000
But if you're a mother...

00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:31.200
they crucify you and burn you alive
like a witch.

00:37:31.480 --> 00:37:35.200
They see you as something unnatural.

00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:39.120
Or if, for example, I put my career

00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:41.960
before being a mother, I'm judged.

00:37:42.120 --> 00:37:46.160
We're not treated equally.
In fact, a man puts his career first.

00:37:50.960 --> 00:37:54.800
The label "mother" really annoys me,
it grates on my nerves.

00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:58.680
It sort of doesn't fit in
with who I am inside

00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:00.600
to be a mother.

00:38:02.360 --> 00:38:03.720
I love my daughter,

00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:06.360
so it's really complicated because

00:38:06.600 --> 00:38:08.800
I'd like to have another bond.

00:39:54.120 --> 00:39:58.840
There are people who are concerned
about the environment.

00:39:59.080 --> 00:40:04.000
They say they recycle and all that,
but they don't know what else to do.

00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:06.160
When I see that they have kids

00:40:06.400 --> 00:40:10.240
I want to say that the first thing
is not have kids.

00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:13.960
The current situation
is totally unsustainable.

00:40:14.120 --> 00:40:17.800
We're been constantly told
that to keep consuming this way

00:40:18.040 --> 00:40:20.560
we'll need three more planet Earths.

00:40:20.920 --> 00:40:23.240
I don't think it's selfish to decide

00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:27.200
to devote your time
to yourself, your passion, your job,

00:40:27.400 --> 00:40:31.400
or you don't want kids,
all of which is respectable.

00:40:31.640 --> 00:40:33.520
I respect people who have kids.

00:40:33.720 --> 00:40:35.360
But what is selfish

00:40:35.600 --> 00:40:37.320
is to decide to have kids.

00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:42.480
They don't see themselves that way,
it's the ultimate act of love.

00:40:42.720 --> 00:40:46.320
"The most important thing in my life."
I say, you just said it.

00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:49.040
"The most important thing in my life."

00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:51.440
That's selfishness, okay.

00:40:51.680 --> 00:40:54.320
But we need to acknowledge it.

00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:09.240
It seems that you're selfish

00:41:09.400 --> 00:41:11.360
if you don't want to procreate.

00:41:11.680 --> 00:41:14.000
Even though there's overpopulation.

00:41:16.200 --> 00:41:19.760
Deep down,
nobody needs more children.

00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:23.320
We're heading for a world population
of ten billion.

00:41:23.480 --> 00:41:27.640
At the same time, though,
it's amusing to say

00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:29.760
that I'm selfish as well

00:41:29.920 --> 00:41:34.520
because I have two kids.
I'm totally selfish.

00:41:34.680 --> 00:41:44.800
Either return my love to me

00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:54.160
Or at least let me die.

00:42:11.040 --> 00:42:14.080
A woman who chooses
not to have children

00:42:14.240 --> 00:42:18.400
is not only not selfish, but in fact

00:42:18.560 --> 00:42:20.680
she is exceedingly responsible.

00:42:43.200 --> 00:42:45.520
A selfish attitude would actually be

00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:48.640
to become a biological mother,
come to that.

00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:53.520
The generous thing to do
would be to adopt.

00:42:56.320 --> 00:43:00.800
I think that adopting
a little boy or a little girl

00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:06.320
is the ultimate act of altruism
that we can consider

00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:08.800
in relation to motherhood.

00:43:19.320 --> 00:43:23.400
I'm now in charge of Communication
for Contorno Urbano.

00:43:23.600 --> 00:43:26.880
I love this job
because I come from the world of art,

00:43:27.120 --> 00:43:30.920
and there's also a social aspect
to this work.

00:43:31.120 --> 00:43:33.560
We design large murals,

00:43:33.720 --> 00:43:35.280
organise urban art festivals.

00:43:35.560 --> 00:43:40.320
A large part of our work, however,
is with our education team,

00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:44.560
setting up workshops with people
at risk from social exclusion,

00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:47.280
with primary and secondary schools.

00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:55.680
I was sterilised when I was 35,
a little over four years ago.

00:43:55.840 --> 00:43:59.480
It was free state healthcare
using a method called Essure.

00:43:59.640 --> 00:44:03.040
It creates a natural barrier
in the fallopian tubes.

00:44:03.880 --> 00:44:08.080
I was very nervous
when I went to the first appointment.

00:44:08.240 --> 00:44:12.600
I was aware that there are doctors
who sometimes refuse

00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:15.200
to accept women's requests for this,

00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:17.520
so I was afraid they would say no.

00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:21.360
There was no biological reason,
I didn't have children.

00:44:27.040 --> 00:44:31.880
Women are treated like minors
at all levels of society.

00:44:32.080 --> 00:44:34.680
We are extremely vulnerable
in this case

00:44:34.880 --> 00:44:37.480
because there is no established norm.

00:44:37.680 --> 00:44:41.040
We are entirely at the mercy

00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:44.920
of the cultural, religious
and personal opinion of this doctor.

00:44:45.120 --> 00:44:46.960
There should be a protocol.

00:44:47.120 --> 00:44:49.080
Men are treated very differently.

00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:53.400
I don't know any who have been
humiliated or degraded

00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:57.000
or spoken to in a paternalistic,
arrogant way

00:44:57.200 --> 00:44:59.560
when they requested a vasectomy.

00:44:59.920 --> 00:45:01.520
I don't know any.

00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:13.840
We hadn't been together for long.

00:45:14.120 --> 00:45:18.320
I told him quite casually
that I was getting sterilised.

00:45:18.600 --> 00:45:22.000
I knew it wouldn't shock him.

00:45:22.160 --> 00:45:25.920
He knew about my views
and he's very open-minded.

00:45:26.080 --> 00:45:28.880
But he reacted even better
than I expected,

00:45:29.080 --> 00:45:33.480
because he went with me and before
I went into theatre he said:

00:45:33.720 --> 00:45:35.800
"I didn't mention it before,

00:45:36.120 --> 00:45:40.840
but it's your body,
you don't have to ask my opinion."

00:45:41.240 --> 00:45:42.760
It was very sweet.

00:45:45.760 --> 00:45:50.000
I could add another reason
that has gradually been reinforced.

00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:53.880
I've discovered more works
by feminist writers, thinkers,

00:45:54.040 --> 00:45:58.600
who explain to what extent
motherhood can enslave women.

00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:01.240
For me it was another way

00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:04.920
of empowering myself,
taking control of my body.

00:46:05.080 --> 00:46:06.760
I choose not to have children.

00:46:13.200 --> 00:46:15.880
Advertising and the capitalist system

00:46:16.040 --> 00:46:18.560
have turned children
into a niche market.

00:46:18.720 --> 00:46:22.440
The market has been filled
with objects they may not need.

00:46:22.640 --> 00:46:25.400
Parents are tremendously
pressured

00:46:25.600 --> 00:46:28.160
to give their children these objects,

00:46:28.360 --> 00:46:31.960
making them more competitive,
another motto of capitalism.

00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:06.080
I define myself as an anti-natalist.

00:47:06.280 --> 00:47:09.080
I believe that humans are a plague

00:47:09.240 --> 00:47:13.720
and the worst thing for this planet
and for other animals.

00:47:14.240 --> 00:47:17.800
Less people having children
isn't a panacea,

00:47:17.960 --> 00:47:19.920
but it might improve the situation.

00:47:20.360 --> 00:47:22.600
More effort is needed.

00:47:22.840 --> 00:47:25.160
Each person will use resources

00:47:25.400 --> 00:47:29.000
and produce huge amounts of waste.

00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:32.120
Although our family is socially aware,

00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:34.000
we try and avoid plastic, etc.,

00:47:34.160 --> 00:47:36.840
three or four people
consume more than one.

00:52:47.480 --> 00:52:50.000
The question is really:

00:52:50.160 --> 00:52:53.160
Is it necessary to have children
without knowing why?

00:52:56.600 --> 00:53:01.920
Having a child entails such powerful
unconscious factors

00:53:02.320 --> 00:53:04.120
of external pressure,

00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:09.640
that it is very hard to be certain
that it was a free choice.

00:53:13.640 --> 00:53:16.600
Our society is totally fabricated,

00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:20.080
constructed, and it could be otherwise.

00:53:20.240 --> 00:53:24.080
We could dream
of a completely different world.

00:53:27.640 --> 00:53:32.000
Let's stop having children, think about
what type of society we want

00:53:32.160 --> 00:53:34.080
and why we have children.

00:53:35.120 --> 00:53:37.640
Let's call a strike, a birth strike.

00:53:37.800 --> 00:53:40.720
Let's stop and think first.

00:53:44.640 --> 00:53:49.240
We are women. We have a reproductive
system that has a function,

00:53:49.400 --> 00:53:52.320
but that is not necessarily
a woman's function.

00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:55.520
I think that we're people first,
then women.

00:53:55.680 --> 00:53:58.480
I don't regret a thing.
I'm very happy with who I am

00:53:58.640 --> 00:53:59.960
and where I am.

00:54:21.360 --> 00:54:23.120
I think that the "idea"

00:54:23.400 --> 00:54:27.160
of deconstructing the traditional role
of the woman and the family

00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:31.000
is also very important if we are
to evolve as a society.

00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:33.400
I think it improves society

00:54:33.640 --> 00:54:37.040
if we show more empathy,

00:54:37.280 --> 00:54:38.960
more respect.

00:54:39.200 --> 00:54:41.760
I think they are positive values.

00:54:45.360 --> 00:54:48.120
People don't know your story,
they judge you

00:54:48.400 --> 00:54:51.200
without knowing what happened
or how you feel.

00:54:51.400 --> 00:54:53.720
They only see the outside.

00:54:54.080 --> 00:54:58.640
One of the things that might save me
is designing and creating things.

00:54:58.880 --> 00:55:02.960
There are things that I really love.

00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:14.720
Any woman who wants to have children
should have them.

00:55:15.160 --> 00:55:19.160
The big question is why a woman
who does not want children

00:55:19.800 --> 00:55:22.200
should actually have them?